The mountain hasn't moved

We are still facing the mountain. It seems like God might have other plans for us and for Jackson. Some of the family members met with the social welfare director for the area Saturday, but are hesitant to sign the adoption release. Adoption isn’t a common thing here, so they can’t understand how this could be a better option for him. So we continue to wait. Yet the possibilities have virtually run out with 3 weeks until we leave.

Our hearts are heavy as we think of what future Jackson has as it seems there is no one to care for him, yet the relatives won’t give up custody. We drove up to Mzuzu this week to meet him and talk with the social welfare department there. It was great to see him and hold him and Dudley was able to feed him. He is a beautiful little boy. Please pray for God to provide the best family situation possible for him.

It has been a time of soul searching for both Dudley and I. It has been interesting to see how we each grieve and struggle through these days. Our questions are different yet similar.

DUDLEY:
Though this whole process we have really felt this is what God had wanted us to do. Yet when things don’t look like they are going to work out I start to question if he really did call us to this. I was reading in a book that talked about faith and how Noah followed God in building the ark. He made sacrifices, was laughed at, with possibly no concept of rain, and he didn't see the reality of his faith for maybe 100 yrs. So I feel like we are also doing something crazy God has lead us to, we’ve made sacrifices, people have laughed at us, but I don't want to wait 100ys to know we are doing the right thing. But in this, I have come to trust God more not in that he will do what I want him to do, but in his loving character towards me, that he will do what is best for all of us.

But if he did really lead us here, and we do all we can, and we pray and lay it all in his hands, and he doesn't bring it about, what then? Somehow we need to pray for an insight into God’s eternal viewpoint. Maybe our summer here isn’t about adoption, but about helping us take a step into something bigger God has planned for us. It is just hard to wait for God to reveal is plan.

CHRIS:
My question has focused on making sense of God’s call for us this summer. It has been “If adoption is not the reason we were to come to Malawi this summer then what is this summer all about? Why did we feel so clearly God’s call to attempt this crazy thing?” The short answer is I am not sure yet. I have thought a lot about faith and what it is and isn’t. It has been an emotionally hard summer. I have prayed and cried more than I have in a couple of years combined. I have thought about these three kids and the pain that their lives will be filled with as they grow up without parents. I also have wept for the millions of kids in Africa that are struggling to survive as a result of the millions that have died from AIDS. It is a good lesson for me to learn that I can’t fix every problem even with God’s help for one little child. God is in control and I never will be. The world is unjust and systems are broken. Tears can be healing yet I still am not comfortable with them. What is God doing in me and us? We have to wait to find out. He is sovereign.

I have been praying and thinking a ton about James 1:27: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

He will show us His plan in His time. Thank you for praying with us and for us. Please continue to pray. We need it and the children of Malawi need it too.